Just a Mom

Mommy-hood has been rolling along splendidly; Elijah is the greatest big brother I could have ever hoped for and Isaiah is getting more animated everyday. I feel so blessed to be able to stay home and spend every day basking in the goofy crazy world of my boys, for me, it's what I was made for. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a wife and mother, it's been my 'career' of choice and I'm lucky enough to be living my dream. Sure I do what I can to make some extra money from home and in a few years when the boys are in school (or possible sooner if finances demand it),  I'll get myself what the world considers a 'real' job but nothing has called out to me more or given me more joy than being a mom.
My problem lies with the view of a homemaker. What about being a stay at home mom says "I sit around drinking wine, getting pedicures, and gossiping all day"??  I've worked 'real' jobs before and none of them can compete with the challenge and energy required to stay home with a toddler and baby..... all while keeping the house clean, laundry folded, dinner made, toilet scrubbed, naps taken, and melt downs comforted. In the last few years I've heard this numerous times
"what do you do?"
-"I stay at home"
"oh you're just a mom"
Really?? Just a mom?! What could possibly be more important than raising your child? I'd much rather pass on the financial advantages of working to be able to insure my child feels loved and secure and turns out a happy and successful person in life. I also can't stand the thought of missing out on all the little milestones that could possibly happen while I'm at work.  I'm not saying it's bad for moms to work- not at all. What I'm saying is that there should be the same amount of respect for a homemaker as there is for a dental hygienist, photographer, manager, waitress, etc.
I saw a article awhile back that described motherhood like this:
"constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned,  dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid one set of car keys and supplies for even the quickest trips... keeping them from unshelving items at the store, enforcing rest times, staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired, or bored.  It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.  it's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier. It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends.  It's resisting constant temptation to seek short term relief at everyone's long term expense. It's doing ALL this while concurrently teaching virtually everything- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything."
It's also a choice and a great, great joy, but to anyone who has ever been a mom with NO babysitter and NO family close by to help out- IT IS A JOB. And not an 8-5 job. It's 24 hours, no breaks, no sick days, no weekends. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who is an equally amazing father to lend a hand when he's home.
It's hard work but there is no hourly wage that could take place of the feeling of accomplishment and love at the end of each day (including the days full of meltdowns- both mommy and child meltdowns).
I love what I do. I chose to do what I do. I was made to do what I do. I refuse to be disrespected for what I do. I would never blatantly disrespect someone's job, no matter what they do.  The way I see it, those who look down on a house wife have never experienced what it is truly like to be one. This is the greatest and most important job I will ever have- hands down.

“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.” 
- C. Everett Koop

Wine Taste on Kool-aid Budget

When Michael and I first met, we were both living the life with extra ‘play’ money galore.  What we bought, we bought new and we bought nice. Our house was furnished with things that would last forever.  We also LOVE to eat out and did it often, combined with his extreme sports equipment and my shopping obsession- we were quite the team. That is, until about a year into our marriage when the series of unfortunate events began that plagued us for years. It was far more than just financial but for the sake of this not turning into a book, we won’t dive into those events at the moment, let’s just say that it didn't rain, it poured…. And poured…. We lost EVERYTHING.

 We are finally reaching the light on the other side and it feels good, but we still have a way to go. One problem is that we still enjoy and appreciate quality things. We aren't happy spending any money on something that won’t last and could honestly break at any moment. We would rather starve than eat taco bell quality food that will make us miserable afterward.

So, what have I discovered since moving to Maui (where shopping is slim pickings anyway) and trying to adopt a new budgeting method? Well, my friends, I’ve discovered the amazing world of Craigslist, ebay, and Ross. I hated these before, Ross was always such a disaster, like digging through the most unorganized garage sell on the planet. Ebay wasn’t for me because I didn’t want to spend before physically seeing the item. Craigslist was dirty, used, and normally junk.  Now, I’ve completely furnished our house from craigslist!  I just had to realize that it was gonna take some effort on my part, not quite like a leisurely stroll through Target with everything I could want just waiting to be chosen. It took me months to find each item I was looking for, but in the end, we have some great, quality furniture at less than half the price! Somewhere along the way, I’ve fallen in love with Ross and get excited every time I get to go.  Last but not least, Ebay is the only place I can find Mike’s upper class work attire and it usually all still has the tags on them!

My current area of trouble is food. We no longer eat out as often as before but my grocery bill is outrageous! I’m working on it, but I’m not a natural cook so I always need a recipe and apparently haven’t found “The Cheap Dinners For Dummies” cookbook.  I'm always looking so if anyone has advice for me here please share! 

It’s all been an adjustment but when you reach the lowest of lows in life (financially, relationally, mentally…everything) , and just choke and gasp there for a couple years- It really makes the ‘normal’ life struggles seem like heaven. The awful new recipes I try are laughable now, having a house that looks lived in instead of staged doesn't give me anxiety (I'm a bit of a clean freak).  During our fights and rough times I always know we're going to make it so I'm no longer worried, if we need to ride out another storm, this family can handle it.

So, we’re learning that quality doesn’t necessarily mean what we thought, and even more important; quality of house has nothing to do with quality of life. We don't have to look like we've 'made it' from the outside to know that we have. We are a family, we are happy, and we have learned more and gone through more in our first five years than most couples experience in 50. Life is good. 

R & R is good for the soul... and my sanity.

Oh where to even begin with this last week!
Elijah is learning about the effects of water on electronics.... so far he has dumped a water bottle over the keyboard of my laptop and took my cell phone swimming in his kiddie pool, also, slightly less stressful for me- he dunked his new Thomas the Train talking/chugging (expensive for a small freaking train) toy into my glass of water. I sure hope he's learning something from all this because my lesson in patience is starting to take a wrong turn!  The laptop survived after being torn apart and air dried for a few days, but my poor iphone has just not been the same since the little incident. Hopefully my loving husband will see this as a sign to buy me (the hardworking, dedicated, mother of his children) a new phone :) Nothing wrong with a little wishful thinking after the week I've had!
This little 'nugget' in my tummy has also decided to get in trouble with momma already by giving me contractions a wee bit too early! There is an upside to that for me though- now I need to cut back and relax for these last 10 weeks! I'm just not sure how to handle that kind of pressure. Do I lounge at the beach every day? Do I go visit Mike at work and lay by the pool? Buy a hammock to put out front because the baby needs it? There are certainly too many decisions to be made.... at least before I've taken a nap :) My goal is to transform this large pasty snowball into a nice bronze globe.  For now I've cut childcare down to four days a week and probably continue to lighten that load over the next 4 weeks until I'm on my self-employed and self-approved maternity leave! Not that I'm anxious to take a break from a house full of toddlers that pee all over my living room, punch my 1 and 1/2 year old son in the face, and look me straight in the eyes and tell me they are not going to be good today.... I just think a small time-out for the sake of everyone involved would be good before this pregnant lady goes Mom-zilla! So, my personal count down has begun and here's hoping I make it to my Rest and Relaxation with as few 'incidents' as possible.

Say hello to my little tax return :)

This morning, as I was sitting with Mike at 5 am to share some coffee before he left for work, we remembered today was the day we've been anxiously waiting for- our tax return was scheduled to be deposited! So with my eyes still half closed and my hair all a-wack, I raced to check our bank account. I'd now like to take the time to thank 2010 for being one of the worst financial years of our life because it turns out that Uncle Sam will be buying this family a car!!
We've been a one car wonder family for quite some time now and the idea that within a few days we'll have another excites me to no end. I'm almost sad that I won't know what to do with my time..... almost.  No more getting up and getting Elijah in the car to drop Mike off at work, no more leaving in the middle of making dinner to pick Mike up from work, no more Mike needing the car while at work and not having it, no more - well I think you get the idea.  No more stress about transportation for either one of us! It seems too good to be true for a family that has one "series of unfortunate events" after another.  By no means is it going to be new- or even nice, but it's going to be MINE.  And, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I want a van.  Yup, sign me up for the soccer mom carpool, with baby number two on the way and family coming to visit, plus actually carpooling with friends; who can turn down all the room that comes with a Swagger Wagon?? I was one that swore I'd NEVER, (no matter how big our litter of children became) I repeat- NEVER get a van. Now that I'm so old and so very wise (please keep your comments to yourself) I can't wait for that side door to slide open, inviting me into it's roomy heaven.  So, bring on the 1990's generation of mini vans- cuz momma's ready to buy!!!

*I couldn't pass up this video.... it never gets old to me.

Getting Started

I've never been much of a blogger but in a new effort to get a little 'me' time in when life gets crazy- or just makes me crazy- I've decided to try out sharing the random jumble in my brain and see if clears and refreshes my head like writing in a dairy as a child (which I also never did).
There seems to never be a dull moment in the Deatrick house so I shouldn't have a shortage of material!

Here's to my sanity and your entertainment!!